This collection is reborn and unearthed, curated from my archives of poetry I created primarily during intensely chaotic, psychotic periods of time while living in Los Angeles as a closeted trans nonbinary person. During this period I was generally deeply unhappy and depressed with my life and attempted suicide many times, unsuccessfully. Now, in 2023, I can finally look back and say I am thankful I didn’t succeed. However, these poems are primarily not confessional poems, but often highly abstract, incoherent, illogical, and first and foremost, Dadaist poems. They defy linear and rational thought. One aspect of psychosis I find interesting and in my work from this time period is florid word salad. Clanging words’ sounds together rather than meaning, creating neologisms, alliteration, and loose associations. I’m sure the drugs didn’t help my psychosis, and now that I’m sober and heavily medicated, the psychosis will still be there, but it’s controlled compared to during this period.
